Shadows and Evil

Series: Shadows and Evil - Part 3

After reading the second article in this series you may wonder how John Forthright’s behavior fits under "evil." First, his behavior in itself is not evil, up to this point. What was wrong with the behavior? One, it was inappropriate for a business meeting. He went from business to personal in 4.6 seconds. He is faster than my Corvette. Now, he may be just your garden variety flirt or an extremely friendly soul. Since he asked about Sarah’s marital status, we can assume he is not just a friendly soul. How do you tell the difference between a flirt and a person with evil intent? Normally, you don't in one meeting. However, if someone behaves as John did you certainly need to be on the alert. Again, he is a stranger and everything Sarah knows about him, so far, comes from him.

You may be wondering what happened after we left them last time. OK, let's take a peek through her curtains and see for ourselves. Be careful, she is on the 5th floor.

Sarah: John, I understand you made this appointment to discuss a loan to launch your studio and gallery. How can the bank help you?

John: Well, Sarah, right now, I would like to get to know you better. I want to do business with friends. My dear old dad always said, "Never do business with strangers." By the way, dad was a minister. Do you think we could be friends? I really can’t help staring at you, Sarah. You are quite an exceptional woman. I bet you scare men off with your rare combination of beauty, wit and intelligence.

Time out: Let's look at some facts. Sarah is not a beauty in the traditional sense. She has never been called beautiful by any man in her life...until John came into her office. Her mother always told her to concentrate on her academics because that was where she excelled. She has had little experience with men in a romantic relationship, simply because very few men have asked her out. She was not interested in those men.

How do you suppose she would respond to John, a sexy, awesomely cool guy, who is telling her what she wants to hear - and has never heard? Do you think he sincerely believes she is beautiful? We can draw a few possible conclusions from their discourse, 1) He wants a good rate of interest and less red tape, or, 2) He wants something else, perhaps more sinister from her, or, 3) He is very kind and thinks Sarah would like to hear she is beautiful, or, 4) He truly believes what he is saying.

Which assumption do you believe is true?

1._____

2._____

3._____

4._____

Let's get back to John and Karen. Stay steady on that ledge.

Sarah: (blushing, stammering) Well, I...I... don't know about that.

John: Oh, come on, you must have men falling at your feel all the time. I don’t know how you get to your car at night without tripping over them. Don't be so modest. Remember, we are friends. Do have any plans for lunch? I feel silly asking because I know you are not eating alone.

Sarah: Well, John, I... I... usually eat at my desk while I work, so I... I... really don’t have plans. But, I don't know... no, I really can't go...

John: (big beautiful smile, lots of white teeth) I can't believe I am that lucky! We can go - to that little cafe I saw a few blocks down the street. It really is deliciously quaint. I love the European style sidewalk seating. I bet you do also. We have much in common. We are sophisticates in an unsophisticated town.

Timeout: Relationships normally evolve slowly over a period of time. We learn about people as we observe their behaviors, listen to their words and discover, one interaction at a time, how consistent they are. We learn about their characteristics, qualities and perhaps their weaknesses. Though, we can't rule out someone as a friend just because he or she has a weakness or two, unless we are prepared to spend all of our time alone. Sarah may realize that John is moving way too fast. She does not have time to use her normal well honed evaluation skills. A little voice is probably saying, whoa, let's slow down here. However, Sarah may want to believe John. Who could blame her?

Remember, up to this point his behavior is questionable and probably manipulative. As you know, manipulation always has a hidden and probably self-serving, agenda. We have to ask ourselves, why is an awesomely cool guy coming on to this nice bank VP? Where is he going with this rush job? We will find out next time. Remember, his behaviors, he is at the very least manipulative. When someone is being dishonest, overly familiar and he does not stay within accepted behavioral norms for the situation (business meeting) we must be alert. Something is wrong. Let’s recap what is happening:

• He is suggesting they have a relationship (friends) when that is not true
• He does not take "no" for an answer
• He is pushing too fast
• He is using flattery (manipulation)
• He has turned a business transaction into a personal relationship
• He obviously recognizes her vulnerability and he is playing to it
• He says they are both sophisticated (a stretch at the very least), this links them together

See you next time for part IV. We will find out what John is up to, and hopefully we can warn Sarah, before it is too late. Oh, you may come down off the ledge now… be careful.

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