Emotive vs.Cognitive

Emotive or Cognitive (Scrooge vs. Mother Teresa)

The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. -- Henry David Thoreau

Have you been described as caring, compassionate, warm and or sensitive? Have you been told that you are friendly and fun to be with? Then it is very possible you are one of the gentle folk. Emotive Personalities genuinely like people and they tend to be optimistic. They expect good things from situations and people. They are at their best when communicating or socializing with their many friends. They leave such interactions feeling good about themselves and humanity in general. EPs seldom have anything critical to say about anyone. If they do, it is laced with genuine concern.

Here in the South, elderly ladies have taken this "virtue" and elevated it to a science. They show their compassion and solicitude by adding the words "bless her (his, their) heart" to their descriptive statements. For example, one of our dear ladies might say, "Honey, I know you have noticed that Betty waddles when she walks. She looks like a great, flabby duck… bless her heart." Or, if one is quite accomplished, one can get a double, such as "Darlin', did you notice John at the church social? He looks as old as Methuselah… bless his heart. Didn't you go to school with him? Bless your heart…" They can say anything they wish about anyone, as long as they affix the magical words. Regretfully, these gentle, emotive types are gradually fading from the South. Many have gone on to that great church social in the sky, taking this quaint custom with them. I am sure that St. Peter opens the gates wide and says, "Welcome ladies, bless your hearts."

The Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz was a feeling "person." Relating to others with sympathy and kindness was extremely important to him. Mother Teresa was known throughout the world for her good works and benevolent nature. She received a number of awards and distinctions including the Pope John XXIII Peace Prize (1971) and the Nehru Prize for her promotion of international peace and understanding (1972). She personifies the Emotive Personality. If you watch the perennial Christmas Movie, Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol, you know that Scrooges lost love was a feeling person. Scrooge, on the other hand was the consummate thinker. He was egocentric and heartless until his miraculous reclamation. Did he become an Emotive Personality forever after? No, I rather doubt it. However, he became more balanced and benevolent.

Some individuals believe that emotions are unhealthy. I don't believe that. Emotions are not only healthy; they add spice and variety to life. Even annoying emotions, such as anger, sorrow and anxiety have an appropriate place in our lives. Anxiety reminds us to be prepared. Slight anxiety gives us the little push we need to study for a test, get started on that crucial project at work, slow down to avoid an accident and take our vitamins rather than face gloomy, unwanted consequences. Emotive Personalities have a wide range of emotions, which they experience and display. The extremes of either Emotive or Cognitive personalities, as with all extremes, lack balance and stability. I have been testing clients for twelve years and I have found only four individuals who are 100% one personality trait. The extremes are rare.

If you are an emotive person, enjoy your wide range of emotions. However, emotions though truly life enhancing need to be balanced with critical thinking and common sense. Balance in all things is the secret to a long and happy life. Enjoy!

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. -- Julius Erving

Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us-and those around us - more effectively. Look for the learning. -- Louisa May Alcott

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